What Have I done to deserve all this? ? ?

I write this before I open my Email this morning. I am almost frightened to do so because 2007 is proving to be a fearfully bad year for me. I don't remember who let the New Year in by being first to cross my threshold after midnight on New Year's day but if I find him I will take an axe to him. First, my wife was ill for a couple of weeks, that brought Kevin home from America. He stayed for a week or ten days until he was sure that his mum was on the mend then he went home. then I had a milder version of whatever she had. The husband of my wife's best friend died of a brain tumour which upset Jean because he was a very nice man even though he was a bobby. Two weeks after getting home Kevin had the worst of his troubles which led to two operations and a long course of radio therapy which he is still on.

An old army buddy of mine went to that parade ground in the sky and I have had two falls each of which left me with a huge cauliflower right ear.  I had a week in hospital and came out just in time to hear that my youngest son Anthony was staggering around on crutches because while playing cricket with his kids he jumped in the air cheering when one son bowled the other out. When he came down he ripped a ligament in his ankle. Result,  two months out of work and the news that he was two weeks short of the qualifying period for sick pay. Today I have been told that a very close friend of my entire family was found dead  just half an hour ago.  As for me, do you wonder at my subject line?    JIM   

 

 

  

Hello my friends, I am back and I will redeem all the promises I made before I went away. Aimer, give me a day or two to get into the swing of things again and you will get your story. Luddie, you too and we will dive into the highways and byways of this machine together. Whew, how I have missed you all.  Bunny, how is the new job going? and Pam of Lanurse, all of you. Gonna tell you where I was and why but I will be brief. With all the trouble in the world already you won't want to hear a lengthy tale of woe from me as well. A week ago I got up from my keyboard and went upstairs to the bathroom. I didn't make it. Instead, at the stairtop I fell but this time there were no friendly small tables to break my fall like last time although the floor was carpeted there. All I knew, there was an almighty bang on my right ear and my head was lay at an unnatural angle on my left shoulder. I had a second or two to wonder if I had broken my neck then I went out like a light. It must have been for only seconds because Jean, (she who must be adored) was trying to get me up. My right ear and that side of my face was all swollen. Jean and I must have looked like a pair of drunken dancers in that upper hallway but we steadied up to eventually get downstairs and enjoy an Englishman's panacea for all  happenings. A nice hot cup of tea. That was it. All over. In my opinion that is but this time and two days after, the family insisted on bringing in Doctor and friend Andrew Parham. This young fool ( 46 that is) after looking in my eyes and right ear insisted on packing me off to hospital. He said he didn't like the look of me so I told him I was not greatly enamoured of him either and there was no way of me wasting everybodies time in a hospital. He had a word with Jean and Jean and I had a vote which I lost 1 to 1. After three days the hospital said I was badly concussed but I could go home soon. LIARS. I was kept in for three more days until they said they were fed up with my moaning and I got home today. I'm a bit proud of my ear though. It's MASSIVE. I am telling all my visitors that I have just gone ten rounds with Cassius Clay and they should see the size of his ear, it's  DOUBLE MASSIVE.     Jim.  Love to all of you.

PS In all this blah blah I didn't tell you what I had done did I? Fell over and smacked my head on the bathroom door jamb,  stupid berk  that I am. Bye.